A boy is coming over to see Cousin Avery today, so Dad told Uncle Robert it would be a great idea if he babysits us.  He didn’t understand at first until Dad explained the plan.  Mom came into the room and said she smelled a set up but Dad distracted her by telling her he was taking her to dinner and a play tonight.  She went off to get our sleepover bags packed while they continued their chat.  Uncle Robert asked Dad if he thought the plan would work.  Dad told him not to worry, that we were better than a contraceptive and he could attest that as long as we were around, there would be no funny business going on. Whatever that means.

          So off we went with Uncle Robert.  Cousin Avery was getting ready when we got to the house.  She looked nice and smelled good.  Aunt Alicia gave us a hundred hugs and kisses and said she was fixing her growing nephews something to eat.  Uncle Robert decided to give us one last pep talk.

          “Boys, you stay in the room with Cousin Avery at all times.  And if that little punk tries something, you come and get me.”

           We all nodded in agreement.  I don’t think Connor heard a word he said. 

          As soon as ‘Justin’ arrived, Cousin Avery introduced him to her parents.  Justin?  Seriously?  Doesn’t sound so tough to me.  He looked pretty tall but he wasn’t as tall as Uncle Robert or my Dad.  He seemed kind of full of himself, I caught him checking himself out in the hallway mirror.  He flashed Uncle Robert this phony, innocent smile. Uncle Robert flashed him his badge and said he knew where he lived.  Cousin Avery rolled her eyes and scooted into the living room.

          As soon as Uncle Robert left, he gave Avery a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Can you believe this guy?  Justin tried to be cool and called me Little Man and tried to give us all high fives.  We left him hanging.  Dad says there’s nothing worse than giving a handshake or a high-five to some trash talking chump trying to play nice. 

          So we did what we do best.  Mayhem and chaos.  The boys starting running around the room like it was on fire, so I took the opportunity to squeeze in between Cousin Avery and Justin when they sat on the couch.  She thought it was adorable.  Justin, not so much.  Colby kept throwing a ball behind the couch, so the dude kept going back there to get it to score points with her.  Being a good babysitter is engrained in her, I knew she wouldn’t tell us to leave them alone.  I ‘accidentally’ kept hitting the volume on the remote so Justin would have to yell to talk to her.

         After an hour, Uncle Robert called us all into the kitchen for lunch.  He stopped us in the hallway. 

          “I need a report boys.”  Uncle Robert bent down so he was eye level with us.

          “He kissed Cousin Avery on …the cheek.”  I wanted to say lips but even I wasn’t that cruel.  Uncle Robert would have bounced him out of the house like a basketball.

          Connor handed over Justin’s cell phone and wallet. Colby was the distraction with the ball while Connor did his thing.  Hey, we don’t call my little brother Sticky Fingers McGee for nothing.

          “Good job boys.  I see what your mother was talking about.”  Uncle Robert looked stunned.  “Later I’m going to explain that we can’t do this all the time but tonight I’m taking you out for ice cream.”

          We went into the kitchen and ate our sandwiches.  Aunt Alicia makes the best sandwiches.  After inspecting the contents, Uncle Robert somehow got the items back into Justin’s jeans.  That’ll teach that idiot not to wear baggy clothes.  Cousin Avery didn’t seem to have a clue as to what was going on and when they were done eating, she invited us back in the living room with them. 

            When Justin finally left, he looked queasy like he’d been on a non-stop roller coaster ride for three hours straight.  He didn’t even try to give Cousin Avery a goodbye kiss.

            Uncle Robert gave us high fives, which we happily accepted, then took us out for ice cream.

        

 

Hope you enjoyed Jake and the boys’ adventures with their Uncle Robert!

In case you missed it, check out Kangaroo Court with Uncle Channing, Phone Follies with Uncle Tyler, Big Brothers Club Meeting with Uncle J.J. and Music Lesson with Uncle Tate!

Until next time,

Rhonda

Copyright © 2015 Rhonda Laurel.  All Rights Reserved.